How do I move forward after such a devastating loss!

Those first hours, days, weeks, and months after losing Mike to one of the rarest of rare cancers left me walking around like a zombie. I couldn't focus, I didn't want to eat and I sure as heck couldn't sleep. My mind was consumed with thoughts of the painful journey through surgery after surgery and the constant juggling of emotions of hope and despair. The days just past by. I couldn't remember what happened the day before, or who said what, or if I remembered to turn off the faucet after running water for my bath. Nothing was the same. I didn't feel motivated to do anything and everything I did was such a chore and drained me of every ounce of energy I had. The crying started from the slightest memory, or familiar song, or seeing couples shopping together in the grocery store, having to pump my own gas, or hearing the phone ring all day long with one well meaning, good intentioned soul asking for a return phone call. And me sitting there listening to every word but unable to engage in a conversation because all I wanted was to be alone, crawled up into a ball underneath Mike's side of the bed that we had shared together for 40+ years. I will always love him. He was my rock, my protector, my lover, my confidante. I could tell Mike anything..no need for secrets. We were together so long that sometimes we would be thinking the same thoughts at the very same time, or finishing each others sentences. We were one soul together. Mike is irreplaceable and I'm just yearning for the day I will see him again on the other side. But right now, I'm just trying to figure out what is good about grief, and how can I channel it into building the coping skills I need to move forward without him.