DECEMBER! Christmas? Hanukkah? Kwanzaa?

Here’s what Google says these 3 major holidays are all about.

• Christmas: A global holiday on December 25th, focusing on family, gifts, and traditions. 

• Hanukkah: An eight-day Jewish festival of lights, family, and gifts. 

• Kwanzaa: A celebration of African-American heritage from December 26th to January 1st. 

These three major holidays are akin in that they all seem to focus on the same things: family, gifts, and celebration of heritage and traditions.  I remember from childhood how my dad would go out and find an evergreen to chop down, bring it home, and we would spend time as a family decorating it and sweeping up the pine needles off the floor.  The permeating smell of the fresh pine needles floating in the air. 

I really enjoyed most of the aromas coming from the kitchen. I knew exactly what dish was being prepared and cooked by the scent of the spices, such as sage, nutmeg, and cinnamon.   Add to that the vision of the tree with all the gifts beneath it wrapped in pretty foil with our names on the tags.  And finally, to top it off, there would be the melodic sound of Christmas music and a mistletoe hanging from the archway! 

Yes, Christmas was one of my favorite holidays of the year.  As I grew older and had a family of my own, I continued only some of the Christmas traditions from my childhood.  The reason being I wanted my kids to know more about the reason for celebrating this special time of year.  I had noticed they were starting to ask for expensive clothes, and the most popular toys they were brainwashed to want because of the relentless airing of any kind of commercial ad on TV, convincing them they couldn’t live without that new cool gadget, toy, wardrobe, game, electronics, etc.

So, I dropped all the fanfare of the tree and all the trimmings; my excuse to the kids was that we didn’t celebrate pagan traditions.  We only focused on honoring the celebration of the birth of Jesus, having a family dinner together (still the traditional foods), and after Christmas, we would take them shopping for all the toys that were now heavily discounted to help retailers clear out inventory.  My plan worked!  We saved money, and the kids were happy and didn’t feel like they were treated like they were unloved!

But, one thing that still remains the same now for me is that Christmas is another Holiday not spent with Mike.  It’s been 7 years since our last Christmas together, and my memories haven’t faded.  I still feel lonely and sad that Mike isn’t there to see the kids all grown up with families and celebrating Christmas, albeit in the traditional way or the way we did it. I’m dealing with it better as time rolls on, and I’m reflecting on all the holidays we shared and all the good times we had together as a family and one-on-one. 

If you have found ways to cope during holidays after the loss of a beloved one, would you share them with us, here on this safe, secure, nonjudgmental community space for healing?  You never know who or how you may help someone else who may be struggling with moving through the holidays without their special someone. 

Thank you for reading this blog. I pray you find it helpful in some way.  I’m praying for your healing and God’s blessings and favor on you.

Love, grace