2026 January-New Loss, New Gain

Just being totally honest, I walked into the new year without much enthusiasm and hope.  Usually, I’m enthusiastic about all the new opportunities, joys, and memories that await me in the year.  I’m generally hopeful for prayers answered on behalf of my loved ones, close friends, and those I do not know but understand they may be living in unsafe environments or conditions. 

This New Year was different. For the last 4 years I was happy in a new relationship with a God-fearing, loving man named Jesse, who deeply cared about me and for me. When we first started the relationship he told me he was in stage 4 of prostrate cancer. At first, I was alarmed and concerned about being in a relationship with someone who was on the same advanced cancer journey and walk that my beloved husband Mike endured the last 4 years of his life.

I stood tall, shoulder to shoulder, side by side with Mike and felt honored to be the one to help him as his caregiver, his wife, his true love, best friend, and dedicated life partner. His journey was filled with surgeries, trial procedures and drugs, skilled nursing and rehabilitation facilities, set backs, and on and on... that experience taught me a valuable lesson...never assume or take for granted that good health is for a life time. Never take for granted you will have that person in your life for the rest of your life. Make every single day count as a blessing and favor from God!

I was having doubts about whether or not I should continue in the relationship with Jesse. I prayed about it and once God answered my prayer, I told him not to worry, I would stay by his side on his cancer walk .  Some challenges I faced while caring for Mike, helped me grow into a more understanding, kind, considerate, knowledgeable, forgiving, and loving person.  Other challenges have proven to be tests of my endurance, patience, faith, self-awareness, strength, determination, perseverance, and love! So, here I go again allowing myself to partake in another experience that I dreaded was going to end in an unhappy, sorrowful way.

So the reason I opened this blog stating how I felt about this new year was because Jesse was not expected to make it through the month. As the doctors had prepared us, Jesse passed on Friday, January 9th. Since then I'm having the typical moments of grieving as you may expect when you lose someone you loved so much. My only problem is that I'm grieving for two now! But, I'm really understanding now that as the name of this blog suggests that Grief is Good! It is good to release that pent up emotion...talk it out, cry it out, walk it out, laugh it out, pray it out.....

Thank you for reading this blog. I hope it helps you in your efforts to deal with your grief and learn new ways to help you cope. If you would like to comment on this blog or on ways that you have found to stay enthusiastic and hopeful, please share them with us.  This blog is a safe, secure, and nonjudgmental community space for healing and we would love to hear from you!

Thank you and God Bless You!!!

grace